Tag Archives: money

Whoring out myself without the sex

1 Jan

I’ve been on Craigslist looking for odd jobs.

I have been looking forward to turning 21 for a while because I really want to donate my eggs for money.
I’m not wealthy, so I’d do many things for money.

Many thing as I’m very much willing to take part in science experiments for compensation.

Thing is, I’m clinically depressed and take meds to treat it.

SOOOO I’m not drug free.
I can’t apply for anything!
Just about every study asks for healthy, drug free females.
And apparently, in order to be a surrogate in the U.S., you have had to had at least one kid already.

I have no need of it.


And not to mention how cold I’d get at night.

20 Dec

Yesterday I was walking around Downtown San Francisco when I saw a little restaurant with a help wanted sign. Immediately what popped into my head was “If I ran away over here, I could get that job and survive!”


Just to help out this picture, I guess I should mention that I live near Los Angeles, so I was pretty far from home.


Instead of getting super excited at the thought, I began running through all the reasons as to how that wouldn’t worked out in my head. 


That really sucked. 

I started thinking about running away to England. I would get a credit card and buy a plane ticket. I would get over there and get a job and become friends with cool people. 

That wouldn’t work. You can’t get a job over there unless you have a work visa and I hear that that isn’t very easy to get. 

Maybe I can transfer to a school over there. That doesn’t seem like running away though. 


At 19, it wouldn’t be running away, it would just be moving.

If anything, I wouldn’t even be running away from home, I would be running from school, and that is just called dropping out, which would just…no.

I hate this.

I never snuck out, I never ran away, I never ditched school, and now I can’t do it because it wouldn’t be as liberating as it would be if I was younger and because I’m of age,  I can do all that and it would just be normal.



I know 19 is still very, very young, but I hate feeling like everything I do from here on out will not equal how fun and exhilarating it felt to be doing things for the first time ever.